A Prayer For 5760

attributed to Rabbi Jacob Pressman

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber, and the IRS.

May your hair, your teeth, your facelift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white-bloodcell count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere in rush hour in less than an hour, and when you get there may you find a parking space.

May you wake up on January 1st, finding that the world has not come to an end, the lights work, the water faucets flow, and the sky has not fallen.

May you go to the bank on Monday morning, January 3rd, and find that your account is in order, your money is still there, and any mistakes are in your favor.

May you ponder on January 4th: How did this ultra-modern civilization of ours manage to get itself traumatized by a possible slip of a blip on a chip made out of sand?

May we relax about the Third Millennium of the Common Era, and realize that we still have 240 years until the dawn of the Sixth Millennium of the Jewish Calendar, by which time the computer is long since obsolete, and so are we.

May G-d give you the strength to go through a year of presidential campaigning, and may some of the promises made be kept. May you believe at least half of what the candidates propose; may those elected fulfill at least half of what they promise; and may the miracle of reducing taxes and balancing budgets happen.

May you be awestruck by G-d's sense of humor as you wrestle with the possibility that a professional wrestler could become president of the United States.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them.

May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner; may your checkbook and your budget balance; and may they include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser, or your tennis instructor.

May the Messiah come this year, and if he does not may we live as if he has, in a world at peace and the awareness of G-d's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss,and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.


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