Swami Beyondananada's Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
- Be a Fundamentalist -- ensure that the Fun always comes before the Mental.
Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh
track has been provided and the reason we are put in the material world is to
get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, which will ensure
- Remember that each of us has been given a special gift just for entering,
so you are already a winner!
- The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That's where
I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't
like the programming we're getting, we can change the channel.
- Life is like photography -- you use the negative to develop. No matter
what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you -- He's just
not ready to make a commitment.
- It is true: As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought
particles tend to get caught between the ears and cause a condition called
"truth decay". Be sure to use mental floss twice a day, and when you're
tempted to practice 'tantrum yoga', remember what we teach in the Swami's
Absurdiveness Training Class: DON'T GET EVEN, GET ODD.
- If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live
like nomads. That's where I no mad at you and you no mad at me. That way
there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. Peace begins with each of us. A
little peace here, a little peace there. Pretty soon all the peaces will fit
together to make one big peace everywhere.
- I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if
you're looking to avoid earthquakes my advice is simple: When you find a
fault don't dwell on it.
- There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the
world and we'll never have to change it again.
- If you're looking for the key to the Universe I've got some good news and
some bad news.
- The bad news: There is no key to the Universe.
- The good news: It was never locked.
- Finally, everything I've told you is channeled. That way, if you don't
like it it's not my fault. But remember: Enlightenment is not a bureaucracy,
so you don't have to go through channels.
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